Talking with an aging loved one about their wishes for their body after they die may feel uncomfortable, awkward, or even taboo. Yet avoiding the topic doesn’t change the fact that at some point a choice will have to be made. Discussing the options now is important. Your relative may even find comfort in planning their final resting place—one that aligns with their own values and vision. It’s another way to honor their voice and the life they lived.
The options are more numerous and creative than many people realize. There are many alternatives to burying bodies and putting cremains in crypts. Depending on your relative’s beliefs, budget, and state laws, you might explore these options:
- Placing cremated remains in a favorite location in nature or under a tree, or made into personalized memorial pendants or other keepsakes
- Green burial, natural organic reduction, or alkaline hydrolysis for environmentally conscious choices
- Burial in a national cemetery for veterans
- Organ, tissue, or whole-body donation to a medical school to advance medical care and research
- Burial at sea, or in some states, on private family property
- A “living funeral,” a gathering of family and friends before their death for a mutual sharing of stories and appreciations
As you help your loved one explore these options, ask questions to help you both clearly understand what is important to them. Decide on a budget and explore possible resources or benefits. For example, you might consult a professional who is familiar with local laws, to learn any limits on choices. Former service members may be eligible for a burial allowance through Veterans Affairs.
Once a final decision has been made, make sure your relative puts it in writing so there can be no confusion. Instead of someday wondering, “What would they have wanted?” you’ll have the reassurance of knowing they are being honored as they wished.
Is your loved one curious about burial options?
If they have questions or would like guidance understanding their choices, we are here to help. As the Roanoke and Lynchburg experts in family caregiving, we at Gentle Shepherd Hospice have supported many older adults and their families as they navigate end-of-life planning. We can connect them with local resources and professionals to help make sure their wishes are honored. Give us a call at 1-800-789-0586 (toll-free) to learn more.
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