“But I wasn’t there when she died”

“But I wasn’t there when she died”

Many of us hold unconscious covenants with our kin. Among the most poignant, perhaps, is a commitment to “be there” when death is near. As adults, we may feel an obligation, and an honor, to be with our parents as they leave, just as they helped us enter....
Caregiving as a team

Caregiving as a team

Millennials and Gen Xers are using strategies that might benefit family caregivers of all ages. Nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s now find themselves “in the sandwich.” They serve as primary support people for an aging parent. Plus, they...
Repetitive questions

Repetitive questions

“When are we going out?” A reasonable question under normal circumstances. But if the person you care for has dementia, you may get this question multiple times in an hour. Aargh! Indeed, repetitive questions are one of the top irritants mentioned by...
Help prevent choking

Help prevent choking

Swallowing involves the coordination of many muscles in the mouth and throat. The action pushes chewed food down toward the stomach. At the same time, the throat needs to close off the windpipe to the lungs. Between 15% and 20% of older adults have trouble swallowing....
How to beat “decision fatigue”

How to beat “decision fatigue”

Caring for an ill family member often requires taking on the role of “decision maker.” Sometimes it’s multiple mundane decisions (Should you ask your sister to do the shopping? Is this a good day to shower Mom? Now or after lunch?). And sometimes it’s several...