If your loved one recently received a diagnosis of cancer, you both may be feeling stunned, anxious, and overwhelmed. Here are tips to help:
Lay a foundation for the journey to come.
- Acknowledge emotions. Anger, sadness, and confusion are among the many normal responses. And, of course, fear. Encourage your relative to talk about these feelings. Listen openly. Consider suggesting a support group with others who have had a cancer diagnosis.
- Reassure them that you are in their corner. All cancer patients are advised to have a fact-gathering friend at medical appointments. Let your relative know if you can do this, or help find a trusted alternate.
- Ask how much detail is desired. Your loved one may want to know everything. Or may prefer to not know and defer to someone else for decisions. Let the medical team know their preference.
Take the first key steps.
- Get exact information. Ask the doctor what kind of cancer it is, its size, stage, and usual growth pattern. Learning will help restore a sense of control in this overwhelming situation.
- Find the right doctor. You want a sense of teamwork with a doctor who listens and explains in words you and your relative understand. If this isn’t the case, switch.
- Learn treatment options. Get details about side effects and usual outcomes of potential treatments. Whether the desired results are likely or unlikely may determine the course of action.
- Consider a second opinion. Meet with a doctor specializing in your relative’s type of cancer.
- Be careful with the Internet. There is a lot of false information online. Only visit websites of credible organizations, such as the National Cancer Institute and the American Cancer Society.
Encourage your loved one to stay connected with friends and engage in enjoyable physical activities and pastimes that bring them meaning. A sense of normalcy and purpose can provide balance during this rocky time. Also ask that they accept help with routine tasks, such as cleaning and cooking. Similarly, for yourself, be sure to accept help so you can pace yourself and go the distance as a caregiver!
Reeling over a loved one’s diagnosis?
As the Roanoke and Lynchburg experts in family caregiving, we understand that this is a very big moment for both you and them. Getting the right kind of support can help everyone as they move forward. At Gentle Shepherd Hospice, we can provide information, coordinate care, and so much more. Give us a call at 1-800-789-0586 (toll-free).