While older adults make up roughly 17% of the population, they constitute 22% of deaths by suicide. There are many reasons older adults might lean toward death: Poor health, chronic pain, loss of a spouse, loneliness, departure from working life, loss of independence, cognitive impairment.
Warning signs. Any mention of wanting to die should be taken seriously. Also watch for depression. Withdrawal from social activities. Expressions of hopelessness (“Why bother?”) or worthlessness (“I’m just a burden”). Increased use of alcohol or drugs. Poor self-care and hygiene. Giving away belongings. Hurriedly changing a will or trust.
What you can do
- Ask if they are considering suicide. Asking will not prompt them to act. By asking, you demonstrate that they matter. Talk with them. Acknowledge their emotional pain. Find out more about their issues.
- Keep them safe. Ask if they have a plan. Do they have a timetable? Do they have access to their planned method? The more detailed the plan, the more likely they are to act. Ask them to promise you they won’t do anything for 24 hours.
- Be present. Gently ask how you might help. If you can ask them in person, great. If not, video conferencing and phone calls let them know they aren’t alone. Don’t promise things you cannot do.
- Assemble support. You can text or call the 24-hour Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 to get advice. Also, help your relative identify others they can reach out to (a friend, counselor or faith leader, or the 988 Lifeline). The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline does not automatically send out first responders. They assess the urgency of the situation and work to diffuse the pain.
- Follow up. Call your loved one the next day to see how they are doing. Implement the suggestions of the 988 professionals. Encourage your relative to get professional support.
Are you worried about an older adult?
Let us support you. As the Roanoke and Lynchburg experts in family caregiving, we at Gentle Shepherd Hospice understand how scary the prospect of suicide can be. You don’t have to do this alone. Give us a call at 1-800-789-0586 (toll-free).